Survivor Challenge #2 Keel Hauling
Nov. 3rd, 2020 09:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eeyore_grrl
keel hauling my heart
don’t you know i loved you
i gave you my heart the day you said you gave me yours
you know i loved you
but you seem not to have cared
and like a mutineer on a pirate ship of old
you punish me
your rightful law
you punish me
tie me up and throw me down
into the water
pull pull pull
under the ship i go
salt in my wounds
i try not to scream
try not to breathe
back and body bashed against the boat
as they pull me all to slowly
under under
down i go
this is my rightful punishment
my heart tied to yours
forever
our hearts
combined in love and hatred
our hearts
combined
don’t you know
i loved you
You can vote here https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/1074276.html
no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 06:08 pm (UTC)Good work!
no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 08:27 pm (UTC)Lots of deep feelings here, for sure!
no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 02:20 am (UTC)I love the particular rhythm of this poem, it really emphasizes the meaning.
Profound! Brava!
no subject
Date: 2020-11-04 07:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-05 07:39 am (UTC)my heart tied to yours
forever
That gave me such pangs. That kind of relationship can destroy a person, and so often it just makes it harder to leave.
I'm so glad you put that note there about this not being recent!
no subject
Date: 2020-11-05 02:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-05 06:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-05 09:32 pm (UTC)I really appreciate works like this that allow for the complexity of misery and sad hope. Or regrets or... I don't really know the right words for that feeling that comes with your line, "don't you know I loved you", which is I guess why poetry is a perfect fit for that situation. It skips over trying to find the right words and just gives the reader the right feeling. The feeling was very there.
Great work!
no subject
Date: 2020-11-06 01:53 pm (UTC)